Thank you for teaching me about love and faith. Thank you for standing by me even when I made bad choices. Thank you for teaching me the ten commandments. Sunday mornings, coffee and donuts, and wearing my pretty dresses, and getting to sing songs, and learn, it was always my favorite memory of you and I. Thank you mom. I don't want you to think you did a bad job, but with that being said do you ever feel like you have lost your way.
I mean it, truly, that I love you more than anything and therefore I will call you out in love, because you have lost your way. Why do I feel like you are forgetting the truth you taught to love unconditionally. Why haven't you said something? Have you looked out the window and seen the urgency of what is happening to a whole sector of humanity? You always taught me that human life is precious, and yet you can not bring yourself to say it. Mom, black lives matter. You can say that not as a statement, but as a declaration of all that you taught me of what it means to be a christian and follow the faith. You can say that, not because you feel the need to, but because you should feel called to do so.
To love unconditionally means to love without borders, without colors, without any kind of yellow tape, or caution sign. To love means so much more, you and I both know, and yet here you are, not embodying the one thing you perpetuated for me. You can not succumb to the brainwashing that is happening. You can not succumb to a narrative being told that is not cemented in the word or embodiment of Jesus. Jesus taught love. He never shied away from those in the population who were at greatest dismay. No, he knelt at their feet, and held their hands. He stood tall in the face of all that could be feared. He carried his own vessel of death.
George Floyd cried for his mom. Mom, I'm so so thankful I won't ever have to cry for you, beg for you. We are blessed, we have so much privilege. We are both still here in this life together, and right now we can choose to fight for others so that they can have the beauty of holding one another's hands in prayer. So that their daughter or son can arrive home for christmas and feel the warmth that floats from the kitchen. Have you ever worried about me not returning home after a traffic stop? Have you ever thought of me dying as a possibility? Have your ever imagined a life without me? Because the grim reality is that there are families all across this country whom have to wonder if their beautiful, talented son, who plays violin, is going to return home after a routine traffic stop. Their thought process is a normal contemplation. Their thought process is a representation of the years they have endured in which their skin color was a mark of stipulation.
Mom, they are dying, at the hands of your negligence to say it for what it is. They are dying at your lack of willingness to model the truth of the gospel. You can not love, without loving all of those, including the ones who riot and harm. Mom, their dying due to the narration that you are allowing to remain in tradition. The narration that of course is not all just your fault, it happens to be the foundation in which is fixed into every translation of our nation. But mom, they are dying, and now is the time to resist the temptation to allow fear to prevail greater than the call to act. You must not listen to those behind the screen or on facebook, you must leave the house, and seek the communities who are most marginalized, because mom, you can no longer contribute to the problem, you must aid in the fight for the solution.
Dear mom, I know this has been an uncomfortable conversation, but my intentions where to inspire you to return to the simpler days, in which I was a child, and you said to me, love. Love without conditions. Love, even when its hard because my precious daughter, love is the ultimate answer, even within the fear. So mom, please dont choose fear. Truly listen to those who speak, to those marginalized voices, and mom please reach out and aid in the process of reconciliation. You must no longer allow a harmful narration. They didn't deserve this injustice and therefore, you must instead lead with compassion. Mom, please return to the faith, and remember the way, because George Floyd should still be here, and Elijah McClain should still be playing his violin. You can no longer be complacent in silence, you can no longer be comfortable in fear, you should no longer hide from those in most despair. You should instead say, "Black lives matter and I'm sorry I did not say it sooner."
Note from author: This piece was inspired from a couple of conversations I've had with friends whose parents have yet to say "black lives matter". I kept thinking what would I say to that parent, especially if that parent were a christian. There is so much more to be said, so please subscribe, and make a user account because there are several more posts coming. I plan to be focused on topics of race, and social justice until the August 28th march on Washington.
Thank you for all the support. Thank you for reading, and sharing, and commenting. This blog has the purpose of being a beacon of truth, honesty, and rawness in times of most need. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for spreading my truth.
Song: Perfect Way To Die By Alicia Keys
This song beautifully encompasses the feeling of loss and purpose.