Today is my 21st birthday. It is a birthday that I thought would never come and yet has arrived too quickly. Today I am in a state of reflection. The last 4 years have been the most difficult and yet the most transformational and rewarding of my life.
4 years ago on this day, I experienced something that I would not wish on my worst enemy. It was a hard day that resulted in the trauma, and pain I would carry heavy for years. The words spewed were much richer in hate than I had expected initially and it was far beyond what I would have imagined myself strong enough to handle at the time. I was in a state of darkness that swallowed me. The suffocation was scary and therefore, I celebrate today with great humbleness because at one point in my life I wasn’t sure I would live this long.
In the last year, I have discovered that healing is possible when you live vulnerably and open. This blog and the stories and thoughts I share would have never been possible without the realization of the power of vulnerability. I have found my best moments to be in vulnerable moments. I have found fulfillment beyond what I could have imagined as a mentor to middle school girls this year and have opened my heart to share the love and blessings I have received in the past four years with my girls. They are each beautiful gifts and I hope to continue teaching them about the power and beauty each of them holds.
I have become free from the weight of pain and it has allowed me more joy and happiness and blessings. It has allowed me to achieve my goals and has allowed me to want to live every day like it’ll be my last. I have discovered that my life truly is the best life I could imagine. I have received unconditional support from so many this year and I could not be more thankful for all of those who have stuck by my side throughout the hard and good moments.
As I sit here writing, I take a deep breath and I am moved to tears at all the blessings that have been afforded to me. Sometimes you just have to stop and reflect because often in the quiet moments of reflection you discover just how beautiful, and precious life is. If you are suffocating in darkness right now, remember that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I know that sounds like BS, but I promise you, there is light. And the light is all you need to look towards as a guide.
Happy birthday Sarah, you have been reborn, and I’m so so so proud of you. Carry on warrior, and follow the light.
Song: Y’all I’m extra and made a playlist. Go check out the jams.