Today was one of those perfect days. Not a cloud in the sky. The blue brightened by the beauty of the leaves. This time of year is my favorite because of the colors. The colors that surround the crisp air, and the smell of transition into something new.
Today was one of those days that I could feel just synced perfectly with my mood. I, for the first time in a while, got up, did my makeup, and left on time. I often think about how blessed I am, and today was one of those days were it all washed over me.
I had gotten the unexpected opportunity to go talk to middle schoolers about college. After speaking with them, I was sitting with a fellow college student who I did not know very well, and she looked at me and said, “You look so successful, you really do have everything.” That comment and everything I had thought about today, came over me as I was driving, with the windows down, through a picture-perfect country road in my favorite season.
I started to cry, as I let my state of consciousness flood over me for the first time in a long while.
I am humbled, consistently, due to what I call a state of consciousness. This space is the space in my brain, where I am present, and in touch with all the good in my reality. Never had I ever thought I would be awarded the reality I am currently living in. One that includes a family that loves me dearly, a husband who holds me, and a dog who hugs me, and friends who make me smile. Never had I thought I’d have the privilege of attending a college where I feel heard, valued, and seen. Never had I thought I’d be able to drive a car that I would not have to worry about falling apart. Nor had I expected to be in a profession, that all though is challenging, leaves me most days with a sense of purpose.
This state of consciousness is a place where I recognize the privilege I hold in being able to live in the country I live in and live in the century I live in.
Now don’t get it twisted boo. This state of mind is not every day and is extremely hard to maintain. I still recognize that the fight for equality is far from over and the fight for my financial stability is far from done, and yet, I try my best to remain in this state of consciousness, that takes hold of me when I remain present in the moment, and in all that is good. I try to remain seated in the knowledge of my blessings, and in the knowledge of my privilege because it is incredibly humbling, rewarding and keeps my heart from becoming jaded, and guarded.
I know, that despite all the turmoil within this world, I must keep my heart open to receiving the gifts of those around me. I must keep my heart open to the positive energy thrown my way. I must keep my heart open to giving and writing and sharing because I know, in the end, I won’t be remembered for the degree I earned, or the titles I’ve held, but for how I've made people feel. And I know, that by remaining in the state of consciousness that keeps me present, humble and in touch with the gift that is my life, I can fulfill my calling and my promise and so much more.
Inspo song: We have everything by Kayne West